Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Dear retard,

I miss you, though I really wish I don't. It's been two weeks and more, and I still think about the what-could-have-been.

So many things that remind me of you, even though there really shouldn't have been so many. Little things remind me of something, and seriously, I really hate the feeling. So much that I wish that it had never happened before. Not to mention the promise that was never kept, it hurts to think about it. Didn't I tell you how seriously I take promises, and asked you not to make one just because? I shoulda known better than to trust mere words.

But it's a learning process. You made me realise who I am, and now I am even more sure of who I am and who I am not. I have never really been a lost soul who don't know herself, but thank you for reminding me of how strong I can be. I supposed everyone needs a bit of reminding once in a while.

Still, I know this is gonna sound conceited, but I really want to say this: not being able to love me for who I am, it's not my fault, it's your loss. Even though I might miss you and think about the what-could-have-been, I will never accept anything less than someone who can love me for who I am, not who he wants me to be. I might not be perfect, but I love myself just the way I am, and will never change it for anyone who doesn't love me enough to accept me the way I am. And of course, if you truely love me, you wouldn't have tried to change me either.

Anyhow, quoting Sara's song: "I'll be alright, just not tonight." I'll get over it, I'll be bouncing back to normalcy, I just wish it's sooner rather than later. Because honestly, I rather be doing something more productive than missing you.

2 comments:

bowpeep19 said...

I really enjoyed reading this. it gave me a great idea about getting my feelings out for someone...so thank you :)

Jojo aka Death Angel said...

You are welcome. I wrote this because... well, basically I am a bit of a coward. I needed to get this off my chest, but I didn't want to say it to my ex's face, so yea :)