I am not sure why I'm feeling as though I need to have a good cry, maybe because the Oral Comm paper is relatively easy, or at least it is compared to JR and Semantics, yet I have a feeling that I might have screwed it up. I think I might have gone out of question for the essay q, yet I'm not sure if I even get the answers right.
I think I went through panic attack just now. My mind seemed to blank out, and I have no idea what the hell I was crapping. I probably should have stayed in there longer and calmed myself down, but it was too cold, and add in my panic attack, I was just shivering the whole time. I can't stop my shivering, and that made me panic even more.
I think I want my teddy bear to hug.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Half the battle
Half the battle is gone, and no, I'm not grinning my head off. I can see my CGPA taking a jump all the way down, and I'm not pleased with it. Not that I can blame it on anyone else. Or maybe I can, but I won't. Sometimes denial isn't all that fun anyways.
I feel cheated off my weekend! I spent the whole afternoon doing my Lit paper, and sadness, my careless mistake might just cost me my A. I think I will be quite depressed for not getting an A for this paper. Well, I guess I should have read Macbeth properly, and remember my points for Romantic period, but what's done is done. Next time, I'm SO not going to sit at a seat where there's no air circulation. I almost suffocated yesterday.
I don't really know what I'm rambling on and on about. I guess I'm just annoyed and tired from finals. This sem really drained me off my energy, both physically and emotionally. Sigh....
I feel cheated off my weekend! I spent the whole afternoon doing my Lit paper, and sadness, my careless mistake might just cost me my A. I think I will be quite depressed for not getting an A for this paper. Well, I guess I should have read Macbeth properly, and remember my points for Romantic period, but what's done is done. Next time, I'm SO not going to sit at a seat where there's no air circulation. I almost suffocated yesterday.
I don't really know what I'm rambling on and on about. I guess I'm just annoyed and tired from finals. This sem really drained me off my energy, both physically and emotionally. Sigh....
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
The beginning of finals
So, yesterday saw the beginning of my Y1S2 finals. Critical Reading and Thinking paper started the "meaningful" event, and I couldn't complain. Seriously. After all, the paper could be worse, but it wasn't, right?
I practically "tembak" all through my Section A and B. Fact or Opinion. MCQ. It was all in the book, the MCQ, I mean, but come on lar, you don't really expect me to remember everything in the textbook, do you?
Comprehension passage was a little weird. I kept looking for loopholes, which Dr. Carmen told us there isn't going to be one, so don't bother looking. I guess I'm just wary that it was just a simple comprehension passage.
Fallacy is one bad case. I didn't manage to sneak pass my classmates who were bombarding Dr. C with questions, and unfortunately, since ears don't close like eyes do, I heard two of the answers and were quite annoyed to find out that I got one of them wrong. Like seriously, why do I have to hear the answer?!?! I'm happy not knowing anyways.
The last essay question. Man, that was funny. I keep coming up with all those lame "critical" reasons. I hope they don't suck as much as I think they do. Lol.
Which reminds me, I think I might be unconsciously stressed out, because I kept having weird dreams lately. I dreamt that my hometown was invaded by dinosaurs and my sis and I were dinosaur hunting. Talk about weird.
I practically "tembak" all through my Section A and B. Fact or Opinion. MCQ. It was all in the book, the MCQ, I mean, but come on lar, you don't really expect me to remember everything in the textbook, do you?
Comprehension passage was a little weird. I kept looking for loopholes, which Dr. Carmen told us there isn't going to be one, so don't bother looking. I guess I'm just wary that it was just a simple comprehension passage.
Fallacy is one bad case. I didn't manage to sneak pass my classmates who were bombarding Dr. C with questions, and unfortunately, since ears don't close like eyes do, I heard two of the answers and were quite annoyed to find out that I got one of them wrong. Like seriously, why do I have to hear the answer?!?! I'm happy not knowing anyways.
The last essay question. Man, that was funny. I keep coming up with all those lame "critical" reasons. I hope they don't suck as much as I think they do. Lol.
Which reminds me, I think I might be unconsciously stressed out, because I kept having weird dreams lately. I dreamt that my hometown was invaded by dinosaurs and my sis and I were dinosaur hunting. Talk about weird.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Looking forward, looking backwards
I probably should be driving myself crazy with Semantics studying, or anything else (academic related, of course) but I just can't seem to make myself study, hence the overactive brain leading me to this.
Sometimes I got scared thinking about the future. I don't know. When I see my friends back in my hometown after so long of not seeing them (considering I used to see them practically everyday back in high school era), the things that will struck me will be how pretty and matured they look now, how they speak differently from back then, how their thinking have evolved, etc.
And it scares me so much because somehow, I don't think I have changed at all. Somehow, I feel as though even if I went away from my hometown to study, new environment and new people and all, I still feel as though I didn't really change that much. And this changes seem to, I don't know, make me feel a little apart from them.
Somehow this makes me feel a little lost. I think I might have changed since coming to PJ, but I don't think the changes are for good. I don't even want to think about that now.
Sheesh.... Stress + pms + a determination to escape studying (reality) = lotsa emo-ing, thoughts that ran all over the place, and craving for fattening food.
Sometimes I got scared thinking about the future. I don't know. When I see my friends back in my hometown after so long of not seeing them (considering I used to see them practically everyday back in high school era), the things that will struck me will be how pretty and matured they look now, how they speak differently from back then, how their thinking have evolved, etc.
And it scares me so much because somehow, I don't think I have changed at all. Somehow, I feel as though even if I went away from my hometown to study, new environment and new people and all, I still feel as though I didn't really change that much. And this changes seem to, I don't know, make me feel a little apart from them.
Somehow this makes me feel a little lost. I think I might have changed since coming to PJ, but I don't think the changes are for good. I don't even want to think about that now.
Sheesh.... Stress + pms + a determination to escape studying (reality) = lotsa emo-ing, thoughts that ran all over the place, and craving for fattening food.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Cut away
Actually I was supposed to post this yesterday, but I couldn't sign into Blogger, don't know why.
So, I finally went and had my hair cut, after so many weeks of saying that I want to chop off my hair. Well, this time, literally. My hair is short. Short as in short, not shoulder-length. I can't even tie my hair anymore if I wanted to.
I don't really know why I decided to have my hair cut so short. I know I have been wanting to cut my hair short for quite some time already, but somehow never really gathered enough courage to do it. I guess I trusted that hairdresser a lot to actually let him cut my hair so short without second thought.
Well, not exactly without second thought. I did asked him whether he thinks short hair will suit me. He said yes. Since he said so, I asked him to cut it short. I sorta threatened him that if my hair comes out ugly, I will put all the blame on him since he said it will look good. And he would have to give me back my long hair. He was confident though, saying that I won't be disappointed.
Funny thing is, halfway through the cut, I mean the guy already cut off half my hair already, he asked whether I was sure I wanted to have my hair cut short. I mean, what lar! It's not like he can uncut my hair. So I told him go ahead and cut them off. He was quite surprised, cause the last time he cut my hair I refused to let him even go above shoulder length. Like before cutting so confident, then halfway through he asked whether I'm sure. Really what lar.
But I'm very pleased with the result. It's refreshing to have my hair so short, even though I thought it makes my head looks rounder. I kind of got bored of my hair being stuck in the same length for a couple of years already, seeing that I don't want it short and I am too lazy to keep it long. In case you didn't know, it's not easy to manage long hair.
Anyways.... moving on to reactions. I received lotsa positive feedbacks, actually, after my friends have gotten over the initial shock of seeing my hair short. Apparently I look younger, livelier, taller, and more professional. On the other hand, someone did say the short hair makes me look older. So I am not really sure what to make of it. I don't think my mum knows that I have cut my hair short, she merely complained about the expensive haircut. But I reckon she will be pleased to know my hair is short now. She's been bugging me to cut my hair short for some time already.
And you know what's more amusing than people's reaction over my haircut, it's that some actually asked me if I'm okay, as in did I just suffer a heartbreak or what. Apparently girls only cut their hair short when their hearts got broken. What a cliche thinking.
So, I finally went and had my hair cut, after so many weeks of saying that I want to chop off my hair. Well, this time, literally. My hair is short. Short as in short, not shoulder-length. I can't even tie my hair anymore if I wanted to.
I don't really know why I decided to have my hair cut so short. I know I have been wanting to cut my hair short for quite some time already, but somehow never really gathered enough courage to do it. I guess I trusted that hairdresser a lot to actually let him cut my hair so short without second thought.
Well, not exactly without second thought. I did asked him whether he thinks short hair will suit me. He said yes. Since he said so, I asked him to cut it short. I sorta threatened him that if my hair comes out ugly, I will put all the blame on him since he said it will look good. And he would have to give me back my long hair. He was confident though, saying that I won't be disappointed.
Funny thing is, halfway through the cut, I mean the guy already cut off half my hair already, he asked whether I was sure I wanted to have my hair cut short. I mean, what lar! It's not like he can uncut my hair. So I told him go ahead and cut them off. He was quite surprised, cause the last time he cut my hair I refused to let him even go above shoulder length. Like before cutting so confident, then halfway through he asked whether I'm sure. Really what lar.
But I'm very pleased with the result. It's refreshing to have my hair so short, even though I thought it makes my head looks rounder. I kind of got bored of my hair being stuck in the same length for a couple of years already, seeing that I don't want it short and I am too lazy to keep it long. In case you didn't know, it's not easy to manage long hair.
Anyways.... moving on to reactions. I received lotsa positive feedbacks, actually, after my friends have gotten over the initial shock of seeing my hair short. Apparently I look younger, livelier, taller, and more professional. On the other hand, someone did say the short hair makes me look older. So I am not really sure what to make of it. I don't think my mum knows that I have cut my hair short, she merely complained about the expensive haircut. But I reckon she will be pleased to know my hair is short now. She's been bugging me to cut my hair short for some time already.
And you know what's more amusing than people's reaction over my haircut, it's that some actually asked me if I'm okay, as in did I just suffer a heartbreak or what. Apparently girls only cut their hair short when their hearts got broken. What a cliche thinking.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
The end!
Joy, joy, happy, happy!
After today's Lit presentation, that's the end of our courseworks. Thank God! Though we still have four CRT journals to write, for today, I refused to think about that.
The last few days, since Sunday, had been absolutely nightmare-ish. There was a deadline EVERY freaking day!
Monday: Semantics quiz... which I bombed, thank you very much.
Tuesday: JR news project... which I edited the news for don't know how many times, so I hope I get a good marks for it. (Thanks, Esther and Zaza, for your pointers and patience!)
Wednesday: Grammar assignment
Thursday: Grammar journal and Lit file... which I spent the last week slaving over it, the Lit file, I mean.
Friday: CRT report... which is something we should have done last week after we presented but since we are the famous procastinators, no award for those who guessed what we did
Saturday: Lit novel and presentation... which I almost froze to death many thanks to UTAR's stupid air-con. Seriously, I think the management is trying to make the students die from cold. I was wearing long sleeves AND a jacket, yet I was still shivering violently.
Needless to say, this week almost killed me, but I survived! And I'm SO not going to think about the finals that's coming in two weeks time, at least not, say, next Friday? Which reminds me, I need to go stock up on junkfood in preparation for study week. Hmm....
After today's Lit presentation, that's the end of our courseworks. Thank God! Though we still have four CRT journals to write, for today, I refused to think about that.
The last few days, since Sunday, had been absolutely nightmare-ish. There was a deadline EVERY freaking day!
Monday: Semantics quiz... which I bombed, thank you very much.
Tuesday: JR news project... which I edited the news for don't know how many times, so I hope I get a good marks for it. (Thanks, Esther and Zaza, for your pointers and patience!)
Wednesday: Grammar assignment
Thursday: Grammar journal and Lit file... which I spent the last week slaving over it, the Lit file, I mean.
Friday: CRT report... which is something we should have done last week after we presented but since we are the famous procastinators, no award for those who guessed what we did
Saturday: Lit novel and presentation... which I almost froze to death many thanks to UTAR's stupid air-con. Seriously, I think the management is trying to make the students die from cold. I was wearing long sleeves AND a jacket, yet I was still shivering violently.
Needless to say, this week almost killed me, but I survived! And I'm SO not going to think about the finals that's coming in two weeks time, at least not, say, next Friday? Which reminds me, I need to go stock up on junkfood in preparation for study week. Hmm....
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